You're familiar with the Shallow Hal mindset, yes? Well, I think I'm pretty happy with my supermodel soul. I practice random acts of kindness. I let people in in traffic. I serve my family. I'm usually happy to do a favor for anyone who asks it of me. I go out of my way to let people know I'm thinking about them. I like kids. I'm usually kind. I'm nice to animals. I'm honest. I love.
But sometimes I am ugly. And I don't just mean 'sort of unattractive'. I mean I am a pimply, pus-oozing, foul smelling, hairy-legged, no alibi UGGO. I work so hard to nurture the supermodel - the beauty. To be gracious, keep my priorities straight, say yes even if I feel like saying no, brighten the day for those I'm around, swallow hurt feelings and not let them show. But every so often, the ugly escapes and she tears to shreds any trace of beauty that was once there.
This week I feel ugly. Pride and stupidity and poor decision making and years of frustration all ganged up and the result was total and complete ugliness. And just the right amount of shame. I want to scream
But sometimes I am ugly. And I don't just mean 'sort of unattractive'. I mean I am a pimply, pus-oozing, foul smelling, hairy-legged, no alibi UGGO. I work so hard to nurture the supermodel - the beauty. To be gracious, keep my priorities straight, say yes even if I feel like saying no, brighten the day for those I'm around, swallow hurt feelings and not let them show. But every so often, the ugly escapes and she tears to shreds any trace of beauty that was once there.
This week I feel ugly. Pride and stupidity and poor decision making and years of frustration all ganged up and the result was total and complete ugliness. And just the right amount of shame. I want to scream
"I AM NOT THAT PERSON!" but my actions betray my words.
I don't know how to fix it. The ugly part of me doesn't want to. But I don't want to be ugly. I want beauty. I want to shine. I want to build people up instead of tearing them down. Mend wounds instead of letting them fester. Breathe and grow up and get over it and move on.
I want to learn from my mistakes (and not make them again). Consider others. Use my head, and use my heart.
I want to forgive. Lose my pride. Put off the natural man and drive the darkness - the ugliness - away.
February starts tomorrow. A month all about love. February will be my month to make the changes I need to in order to really love, to really be beautiful. Not necessarily supermodel beautiful, but Daughter of God beautiful.
I don't know how to fix it. The ugly part of me doesn't want to. But I don't want to be ugly. I want beauty. I want to shine. I want to build people up instead of tearing them down. Mend wounds instead of letting them fester. Breathe and grow up and get over it and move on.
I want to learn from my mistakes (and not make them again). Consider others. Use my head, and use my heart.
I want to forgive. Lose my pride. Put off the natural man and drive the darkness - the ugliness - away.
February starts tomorrow. A month all about love. February will be my month to make the changes I need to in order to really love, to really be beautiful. Not necessarily supermodel beautiful, but Daughter of God beautiful.
And I can only do it with His help.
Wish me luck.
Wish me luck.
3 Shout Outs:
You've been a savior to me this week. I haven't seen any ugliness. Thanks for saying yes, even if you wanted to say no. :) I love you!!!
I can't help but think it is natural for us to be judgmental and critical of others. We would not be human if we did not. We would not have feelings.....BUT
what we do with our thoughts is another story. I think we all sometimes speak before we think too. Maybe just maybe we don't think our thoughts or comments when said will hurt. But generally they do.
What is it that is said in the scriptures....Let him without sin cast the first stone.....
February is a great month to start anew and set a resolution to hold our tongues and think twice and speak once. I think I will make that a new goal for myself....
I will take you on your ugliest day over some people on their best day. You are beautiful because you are flawed. You are human. That said...you are pretty darn pretty if you ask me.
So, you had a bad week. You have had some incredible weeks too. More of the good ones than the bad ones, I bet. So...shake it off and take a step up.
You are magnificent. You are loved (warts and all). Remember that.
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